My eyes are sunken, I can barely walk, I'll think of something I want that is just out of reach and then decide to just wait because it's too much energy to sit up and reach for it - whew! This stuff is potent; and that's good! But I hate it at the same time.
So some people name their IV line. It helps them through it or something. I thought I wouldn't, but then a name popped into my head and it fit perfectly and it bonded me to my line and made me LIKE it more than I ever would and endeared it more because I have sort of been scared of it this whole time. I shall name it Violet. It's purple so it fits. It may sound silly to most of you, but to those of you who have had PICC lines or PowerLines or Ports to receive antibiotics, you know how much it helps to have that name that makes you love the thing that is helping you get well. I'm not batty. I'm crazy, but not batty, all you friends out there. Don't worry, I haven't crossed over.
The procedure itself was not what I expected. "Conscious sedation" was something altogether different than what I imagined. I was very much aware of everything they were doing when inserting the line. But I was sedate. So there you go. Just what it says - conscious but sedate. Then off to the clinic we sped to make our appointment to learn how to change the dressing and also test dose the medications and lo and behold all of this was just too much on my poor body and I ended up having a mega seizure right there on the exam table. Passed out and everything. My husband said they got really worried, but after some very special medication was pushed into my line, (and after I had already maxed out on my regular seizure meds), I came to and things got normal again and calm. Scary times. Seizures are never normal for us and never not scary. But the rest of the weekend we spent in DC went fine as I recovered from the procedure and Matt is prepared to be my nurse. Interestingly enough, 2 nurses I had in pre-op had Lyme disease and my surgeon had Lyme disease 13 years ago and said, "We're rooting for ya!". It's prevalent, folks! It really is!
Life is hard hard hard right now. We are still in-between houses. We finally closed escrow and are painting our new house. "We" is my husband and my siblings (SO thankful for them!). I sit and watch. My mom and dad babysit our kids. We are so grateful for everyone helping. Once the painting is done (maybe this weekend?) we can move our stuff in and finally be done with our very haphazard living situation we're in. Things will calm down.
And I get help!! My aunt is sending my very mature nearly college age cousin to come stay for a couple months to help with the kids. We are so blessed and God is taking care of us. And we have help from my sister who will come once a week to relieve my cousin, and help from my two of my sister-in-laws, and my mom gets to come for 2 days a week and offers from many others. I will say yes to whoever I can that will be helpful and not harmful to my health. We need any help we can take at this point.
My dad accompanied me to my son's well check appointment which helped immensely. I couldn't have done it by myself. I can barely walk for goodness sake! He carried my son and did everything that needed to be done for my son (my son LOVES his Appah!). I had the worst memory problems there filling out the forms, but made it through so I'm so glad I didn't have to wrangle a child AND fill out forms.
God's grace and goodness are abounding through this trial and we pray and hope that these IV meds are what will get me back into perfect health! Thank you for praying for me!