reflective

Okay, we're just going to make this a big one since I keep promising it and things get in the way -- namely - a wee one who keeps me from getting a full night's rest, plus caring for my girls and him during the day -- even now, I've had to get interrupted about 5 times from writing this :)  But I LOVE it.  It means I'm well enough to do all of that and daily I'm so encouraged about it.

While I'm feeling so so great, here are some of the signs that Lyme isn't totally gone yet (and that's why we continue with treatment):
-I have bouts of memory problems....generally while ON antibiotics that are killing the "bugs".
-My appetite has yet to rise....generally I get a hearty appetite for a few days within a month's span
-I still pace myself during the day.  Living with a chronic illness shows you your limits, so it makes it easier as you get well, to know what might push you over the edge if you're not careful.


Here are some things that are noticeably better:
-I can walk.....far.....without it ruining the next few days :)
-I haven't sat in my wheelchair since December '11 :)
-I'm not irritable hardly at all :)
-I can keep up with laundry, cleaning, and teaching my daughter to read....all without needing to stop and rest :)

Now here comes the post that should be a separate one, but since I'm here and writing, I'm going to continue it.

I've been reflecting on the things Lyme has taught me.  If I hadn't had Lyme, I would never have:


-learned to pray "Lord, give me the grace to handle this day" each morning
-gotten over my phobia of throwing up
-learned how to "wait" - the way you should "wait" when GOD says "Wait."
-learned to drop my pride and accept help when I needed it.
-(and on the same note) learned to throw pride out the window and accept the fact that a wheelchair makes life so much easier when you don't have energy or are in so much pain.
-learned just how long I am able to "endure"
-seen just how committed my husband is as a friend and father
-witnessed the love of my family amidst a disease that can sometimes tear families apart.
-seen how much I took for granted when I was "well"

I know I've learned much more but those are the things that have come to mind recently.

icked

Wow - our whole family got sick right after I got the great news from my Lyme doctor that after about 3 cycles of a slightly different protocol we've been doing, that I will most likely get to go on a "maintenance" dose of meds!  That is huge!  We are so thankful.....but I still gotta make it to that point because as we all know, Lyme&Co. are really good at interrupting best laid plans.

So like I said, my husband fell ill, then my daughter about 12 hours later, followed by myself and my other daughter about 3 hours after that.  It was just 4-5 days of high fevers and body aches.  Not fun at all.  But there was no respiratory problems or stuffy noses so that made it at least not as bad.  Well, not so much for my youngest who already had a cough going into it and got diagnosed with pneumonia after that fever had its way with her.  (She is now better).

Anyhow - this new Lyme protocol had one added element to what we've been doing already -- we added an herbal med that fights Babesia.  This was just to "make sure the Babesia is in check" as my doctor said.  No problem....should be fine.  Well fast-forward to as soon as I started taking it -- I had pain in my chest and breathing problems.  I didn't even THINK it could be a herx reaction so I went to the ER thinking it might be bronchitis but thinking it was awfully odd that I didn't really have a cough....yet since my daughter had pneumonia it was one thought in my mind.  I also got so so so tired....but again, I was recovering from a not-so-fun virus.  A chest x-ray revealed nothing.

A few days later, still---chest pain and shallow breathing.  I went to my general practitioner and they did a chest x-ray too.  After it came back clear I finally realized -- this was a herx!  I had to start my Lyme meds at the very tail end of being sick so it all blended together.  But the farther I get away from the virus I had, the more clear these herx symptoms are.

(click for source)

AWFUL....I think it's pretty clear to me that Babs is still somewhat committed to making my body its home.  You know when you are supposed to take your medicine and you know the meds you are about to pop in your mouth are going to make you feel awful?  Well, tonight I actually put them back in the pill case.  I took all but that herbal fighter (because all of the other meds I have been taking for a few months now and my body never handled them this way).

Then after a series of conversations between myself and myself......and myself and my husband, I decided to take them after all.  There's no point in getting THIS far in the journey to beat Lyme only to have Babesia rear its ugly head later.  It also helps that my mom happens to be in town this week so she's able to help with the kiddos.

So anyway -- that post about the things that still show themselves even though I'm feeling nearly "normal"?  It'll still come but it's been sidelined by this unexpected awful herx.

busy

I will write more....I am preparing a post about how even though I'm MUCH better and definitely getting to the point of remission, there are still things that plague me.  Just to encourage those who wonder if it's normal.....yes, I say I feel awesome, and I do, but we can tell that meds are still needed to eradicate more Lyme buggers.

I'm busy, though, as our last foster child went home (so happy he could be with family!!!) and now spending a lot of time with a very very different age foster baby who needs constant attention (it's so much fun when they are teensy!).

Anyhow -- a Lyme post is forthcoming.  And know that I pray for those of you who I "know" through the internet....even if I've never commented on your blogs :)

exhilarated

Here's that story:

A week ago I went camping.  Normally, I'd go with our whole family.  They set up camp while I sit.  This time it was just my daughter and I (and a group of friends from church).  I was a bit fearful of camping....especially with my already infected daughter (her Lyme treatment is going well, though!).  I wasn't frightened of setting up camp or cooking, I was frightened of TICKS.  I think we all are -- we who have been so affected by the little teeny bugger.   It's hard to go put yourself in that environment voluntarily.  The problem is, most of us LOVED hiking and camping before we were stricken, so it's funny that a lot of my friends now have a huge fear of green beltways and pictures of forests.

I armed myself the right repellent and did thorough tick checks each night or after walking past tall brush (we tried to avoid it if we could), sitting on the picnic table, leaning on trees, or rolling in the grass.  We came home tick-free!


So, let me summarize what was one of the most encouraging weekends of this whole Lyme infection journey that has taken over my body.  I felt like a college student again! I went hiking and enjoyed it and had enough energy to do so! I was able to enjoy the scenery instead of hanging my head while huffing and puffing.  I went swimming in a lake!  I went cliff jumping into that lake (picture of that to come)!  To get there I had to rock-climb the cliff.  Most people take that stuff for granted.

I felt NORMAL.  There were no ill-effects later.  I literally came home to my husband and and said I felt younger and more like I did when we first met.

This is hope!  From bed-ridden to cliff jumping.  That's huge.....long-term treatment for Lyme WORKS. I'm still on meds about 2 weeks out of the month but I'm not herxing as much.  I remember first being diagnosed and searching for a blog or testimony from someone who had greatly improved or improved completely!  I could find nothing.  No hope and I began wondering if I would ever get better.

And now I know -- all that hard work and I-wish-I-was-dead moments are paying off finally.  I still have a bad day here and there (like this past weekend where I was in bed all day), but the bad days are really widening apart!

I'm praying for you!!

thrilled

.....to tell you that I have a very encouraging story to tell.  One that gives hope to sick Lyme friends.  It should be ready by Monday.

I'm on one of two of the toughest days of my current Lyme treatment protocol right now so I'm trying to rest up.  My next week of treatment is starting to become a breeze!  Good news that my immune system is not shocked and overloaded when the killing begins :)

I promise you a story!

progressed

(click pic for source)

Late last year my husband and I decided to embark on a journey and see where God led us through it.  We have wanted to adopt for a while, but only late last year did we realize my body was making enough progress for us to consider it and maybe even go through the paperwork to get ready for it.

We considered a lot of different options on how to do it and ended up deciding to do it domestically.  I'm not at liberty to discuss much on this blog about it, but I can say that we have a little semi-permanent addition to the family at the moment.  This addition may stay a bit or may stay a while, and this blog isn't for THAT but to tell you how my Lyme body is handling it.

My, how we've seen God really continue to keep my body on the path to healing since we began the process to hopefully add another one to our family via adoption.

I'm by no means completely well yet, but I'm well enough to care for THREE kids without feeling my energy wane.  And that is huge!  Energy was a very large problem for me when I was first diagnosed and it was only late last year that we started to notice a huge improvement in that.  My pain is nearly completely gone.  Sometimes on treatment weeks I'll have some trouble with that but not otherwise.

So all this to encourage you that there is light at the end of the tunnel and just because you're struggling and maybe can't do some of the things you've wanted to do with your life, don't count yourself out!  Healing is a possibility through hard work, endurance, and lots of prayer.  You can still have goals outside of getting well and still have "dreams".

God has been so kind and gracious to our family to allow me to feel well enough to try to expand our family a bit more and we trust Him through the rest of my healing journey to get me to a place where I can say I'm not complaining of any symptoms!

Thanks for praying for me and thank you for CONTINUING to pray for me.  I'm praying for you all!

like taking a ride

So for my birthday, my husband bought me a bike. I had originally mentioned to him that I hoped he didn't buy me a bike because it would just remind me of what I "couldn't" do anymore.  I had sold my bike a few years back because it was taking up space and I was in no shape to ride.

But then my husband made a funny face -- apparently he was planning on buying me a bike and I had just ruined the surprise.

He then explained his reasoning - "You're feeling a lot better!"  He said even if it was just a ride around the block, that wouldn't I want to?  And that I was heading UP, not spiraling down anymore.  he changed my mind.  I let him get me a bike.

And I'm proud to say I finally got out and rode it.  Yes, I did only ride around the block, and yes, that was enough for me to know that as fun as it was, if I did more, I would probably regret it.  It's funny how I can run errands, clean the house, take care of my littles, but one little ride around the block can show me my limits.

But it wasn't discouraging!  I rode around the block!  It felt good!  I wasn't wearing proper attire or anything.  But it felt like a new step....I've been doing great and it shows I can start up with baby-steps on the things I used to love to do!  I'm so very thankful!